I don't know if anyone ever reads my blog anymore but that's not the point. I just need to pen down my thoughts.
I think today may be the day that I made a huge mistake. I met a guy few yrs back, he's amazing. I wanted him so badly to be my bf, I eventually got him. And he somehow became the top priority in my life. See, I'm that kind that put my friends first, till I met him. I'm struggling to make it balance. But well, you can't get the best of both worlds. We broke up and made up and broke up and made up. We just couldn't bear to leave. Till today I decided to stop being a selfish bitch. I took advantage of how nice he was, he just wanna love me but I just wanna have fun. He couldn't tolerate my life style, no guys could. He did, for awhile. Cause if its me I would have left long time ago w/o even saying bye. I told a few hurting lies so that he could let go of me completely. I really don't wanna see him being upset over me anymore. I can't hold up to his expectations anymore. Deep down I know we would be better off w/o each other, but I always didn't wanna let go cause I'm afraid to be lonely.
So if any ladies reading this, pls, if you ever find a guy that loved you at your worse, tolerate all your nonsense, get used to all your habits even tho he don't have to, DONT EVER let him go, EVER. This kind of guy is hard to come by, really.

I really do love you boy, that's why it have to be this way.
I'm so sorry, for being so selfish all these while.